Celebrity Dates
by NeonDomino
Summary: Remus Lupin agrees to go on a celebrity reality dating show to meet other men. What he doesn't expect is Sirius Black to be another contestant. After all, Sirius wasn't an 'out' celebrity. MC.
1. Chapter 1

**I know this is unrealistic as we don't live in a world where the BBC would show a game-show that is a reality show about a bunch of gay men living in a house together. Let's just pretend that people are more open minded.**

* * *

"Remus, you're in the paper," James exclaimed, handing it over to his friend. Remus took the paper from his hands and glanced at it, seeing a picture of him shyly smiling at the camera.

"Famous Actor, Remus Lupin, will be appearing on 'Celebrity Dates,' a new dating show brought to you by the BBC," he read out. His eyes darted to James.

"You never told me you were going on a dating show," James accused, helping himself to Remus' breakfast.

"I... My manager thought it would be good for me to be seen out in the dating world and this show would do that... or something," Remus said. "She was very convincing."

"You mean you were scared to tell her no?" James asked with a grin.

"Of course not, I make my own choices," Remus tried, but sighed. "Fine, she scares me, but so far she's been right about everything... She said that I've gained the boy-next-door image and people are clambering for details of my private life and to throw them something in the form of me on a dating show with other 'out' celebrities.

"Mate, you've been around since you were in that... thing when you were sixteen. That's six years now, and you've done alright without being in the public eye often."

"It's alright for you, James," Remus mumbled. "You love it. Your face splashed over every newspaper. James Potter, hottest thing in football."

"I'm awesome," James agreed. "So... what's this show like?"

"I'm basically going to be living in a house with a bunch of gay men, and I have to kiss the one's I want to stay in the house each week. There will be five I think, so that's four eliminations. Money to charity for this of course."

"Which charity - the puppy one again?"

"Nothing wrong with helping animals," Remus replied.

**...oOo...**

"Look, you have to get me on that show," Sirius insisted, waving the newspaper at his cousin. "I don't care how you do it - even if you have to pimp me out to the bloody show producer or kidnap his children, I'm getting on that show."

The newspaper was slammed down onto the desk in front of Andromeda, but she barely glanced at it, and continued to paint her nails.

"You're not thinking clearly. Whatever happened to - 'I'm not going to do reality shows or game-shows or interviews or -"

"Andy," he interrupted, urgently. "I need this. Please. I'll owe you - one of the things you keep insisting I do... an interview or something perhaps or a talk-show... I'll ower you one of them if you just get me on this show."

"I... it's not fair for me to use Ted," she said, hesitantly.

"Ted?" Sirius asked, wondering what Ted had to do with any of it.

"Ted's cousin is the producer. I'll do this once, agreed?" Andromeda said, firmly.

Sirius grinned at her. "Thanks."

"Are you going to tell me why this specific show?" She asked. "It's not your sort of thing. You're not even out. This is going to out you, you know."

Sirius shook his head. "I just have a good feeling about it," he replied.

Andromeda reached for the paper, but Sirius quickly picked it up and walked out clutching it.

**...oOo...**

Remus looked through his suitcase, as Lily stood next to him, going over last-minute information.

"Am I allowed to know who is going in there?" Remus asked.

"It's a surprise actually," she replied. "Look, you don't have to marry the guy, but the conclusion to this is to be seen out in public with him after the show. All the agents have the information for two dates set after the gameshow ends."

"Yeah," he whispered, nervously. "Are we sure this is -"

"You can't cancel now," Lily said, holding up her iPad. "Here are comments on the upcoming episode. Look, this one is from someone who says she's watched you in films and thinks you are an amazing actor." Lily paused for effect. "This one is from an eighty-two year old woman, who says you remind her of her grandson, and she can't wait to watch your new show as it's the high point of her Saturday night."

Remus leaned in closer.

"She is my grandmother," he replied. "High-point indeed. She goes out dancing and plays bingo on a Saturday night. She'll be taping the show to watch tomorrow."

Lily smiled.

"I could show you more?"

"No, I'm ready. I just..." he trained off, pulling the shirt off and grabbing a t-shirt and pulling one of his oversized sweaters on instead. "Look, I'm going in there as me, I'm going to be comfortable at least."

Lily nodded and Remus started to repack his suitcase with less shirts and more cardigans, t-shirts and jumpers. He changed his shoes for converse and sprayed some cologne on himself.

"So, James is going to be watching the show and coming in to see you."

"James, he's the footballer, right?"

"Yup, don't take any crap from him... I doubt you'd take crap from anyone," he replied.

"I won't," she said with a grin.

After he had finished repacking, he closed the suitcase, picked up the travel case that was just filled with books and Lily lead the way from the room.

Remus kissed his parents goodbye and got in the car.

"Remember Remus, enjoy yourself, okay. I know the celebrities coming into the house aren't as well-known as you are, that's all I can tell you. Also, keep it clean. Swearing and adult jokes and stuff will be cut out, but sex is not allowed."

"Because I'm just going to go in there and want to shag the first person I meet," Remus scoffed. "I can control myself, I'm not a horny teenager."

"The camera's will be off from eleven pm until six am, and obviously there won't be any camera's in the bathroom," Lily added. "So if the horny teenager in you does emerge, I would suggest..."

"No wanking in the bedroom when I wake up," Remus deadpanned, causing her to laugh.

**...oOo...**

Remus gripped the handles of the suitcases as he walked towards the houses, the public who weren't supposed to know the location leaned forward over the barriers, trying to touch him.

Remus smiled, and greeted a few people as a couple of BBC staff moved forward, grabbing his cases and moving towards the door.

After signing some autographs for a bunch of children, and allowing a group of grannies to hug him and pat his head and listened to them wishing him luck in meeting 'Mr Right', because it was about time that he found someone, Remus waved at the crowd, smiled and turned towards the doors.

Remus knew he was the first one to arrive. He headed straight for the stairs with his cases and went to pick a room for himself. He was told that the main room at the top of the stairs was his, but he didn't want the large room. He looked at the rooms on that floor, before heading up the stairs again to find another couple of rooms. He opened the doors and realised they were identical to each other. Both with a bookcase and a decent sized bed, a small wardrobe and chest of drawers. One had a window seat and that was the deciding factor for Remus.

He didn't care that the rooms were smaller than the ones downstairs, they had the best views from the windows and he wouldn't be disturbed by the noise anyone else made.

Once his bags were in the room, Remus went downstairs with a book to wait for the rest of the house to appear.

* * *

**Review Please :)**

**I know I have so many stories to finish, I just couldn't make this a one-shot. It was supposed to be, but I have so many ideas, this is now an MC. :)**

**I will be getting my other stories done, I promise!**


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius packed his bag quickly, glad that Andromeda had been able to pull some strings. It was his own fault: if he had been honest and told his cousin about his attraction to Remus Lupin, she would have known to show him anything that came through about the reality show — usually he refused to do anything like that.

But this was Remus Lupin. The actor that Sirius had looked up to before he had even run away from home. The teenager that wasn't scared to chase after his passion: acting.

Something that Sirius had been terrified to do himself, but more of a passion for playing an instrument.

Sirius would read every single interview he could get his hands on, and there were many. Some posted by people who had met Remus in the street and had had the pleasure of stopping to chat with him or take a picture with him. Sirius read every word, wishing he was more like Remus Lupin.

It was a year after first seeing Remus Lupin on the screen that Sirius read an interview where Remus revealed his sexuality to the world. It was a bold move, but the picture showed the beautiful, soft amber eyes that Remus was known for, and to Sirius' surprise, the people loved it! It had been the highlight of all the tabloids for weeks after that.

Sirius forced himself to have that same courage. He admitted the truth to his family, which resulted in a terrible fallout and a trip to the hospital. Once there, his parents paid him for his silence, though Sirius had no other choice but to take the money. That, or become homeless.

But his family buying his silence, also earned him his freedom. He had money to purchase a tiny flat. It wasn't much, the cheapest he could find, but it was his. He got himself a job in a cafe whilst he taught himself to play on a cheap guitar he bought in a charity shop, and after a few years, he was good enough to join a band

And now — now he was going to meet Remus Lupin in person.

Part of his was terrified. Remus had always sounded like a down-to-earth guy. Someone sweet and kind, but he was also an actor. Maybe sweet and kind were just for show - he might be a horrible person ,and Sirius knew he risked losing his idol should that be the case.

He looked at the t shirts and jeans he had packed, and double checked the underwear and socks. A few pairs of pyjamas and his favourite shirts were added, plus some make-up and accessories which he wore when in the mood. After a glance around his bedroom, he added in toiletries and a couple of pair of shoes and trainers, and some books. He hadn't any information on the house after all, and didn't know if there would even be a television.

Finally he added in his sheet music and some writing material and placed them in. A few little bits around his room were added, and he zipped up the case.

The guitar was in its bag, and he slung that over his back. Sirius grabbed the case in one hand, his amp in the other, and left.

He knew Andromeda would call to sort out the car, and it would be there soon. He didn't want to waste one moment away from Remus Lupin. He would be ready when the car arrived.

...oOo...

Remus struggled to keep his eyes on his book, finding them moving towards the window every few minutes, hoping to catch a glimpse of whoever was entering the house. He wasn't sure if they were coming one by one, or all at the same time, though the second choice seemed quite daunting to him. Though he had met many, many people in the past, he was still quite shy around groups.

The show was a challenge for him, and Lily had assured him of attractive men. Though he claimed that it was about doing something new and different, there was more to it: Remus was lonely.

Well, as lonely as he could be. He had friends and a loving family. He had adoring fans, but he wanted something more. He wanted to meet someone. To go on dates, and to curl up on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn, watching movies together. He wanted to hold-hands and shy kisses and... well, he wasn't going to let his thoughts venture into adult territory, not when the audience could be watching. He pushed himself back to the more innocent things he could do with someone.

Cuddling for example. He'd love to just lay in someone's arms and have it feel completely perfect. Someone who'd say sweet things to him. Someone who'd look after him, and allow Remus to look after them in return.

Maybe a reality tv show was the wrong place to start, but it was somewhere. It'd show the world that he's ready to date — that he's actively searching for a partner. Who knew who'd appear in his life?

He smiled as his eyes stared at the text in the book. He didn't know what the page said, but the idea of meeting eligible bachelors was exciting. He was sure they'd all know he was on the show, and the fact that they still agreed had to mean something - that the thought of dating him was appealing, even slightly.

He heard the sound of a car door, and stood up. He looked out of the window, but didn't see anything bar the public, so decided to head upstairs and put his book into the bookcase in his bedroom. Once in his room, Remus took a few deep breaths and calmed himself. He felt his body relax more and more with each breath, just as Dorea had taught him after his first panic attack during his first minor role. The breathing exercises had worked perfectly, and Remus had used them ever since to stop himself panicking and getting upset.

...oOo...

Remus waited in his room until he heard the front door close. He heard the sound of loud voices as everyone talked amongst themselves, but was unable to place any of them. He allowed himself a minute, wanting to be calm, before leaving his room and heading down the stairs.

Halfway down, he turned his attention to the men in the open-plan living area. They all turned to look his way and he looked slowly between them.

Four men, as promised, and he recognised all of them. Remus smiled softly. "I'm Remus," he began.

...oOo...

Sirius knew he was late to the house. Andromeda had called, explaining that all the other contestants had just arrived, but Sirius was still in the car. The driver had been instructed to go around the back, avoiding the public — though they wouldn't suspect there to be a fifth contestant.

The driver spoke with a guard briefly, before the car slipped in the gates. Once in, it moved around the side of the house, parking by the doors and blocking Sirius from view. He got out, grabbed his stuff, and blew a kiss to the driver before walking to the door.

He pushed it open and walked inside, scared and exciting at finally getting to meet Remus Lupin.

* * *

Thanks to my lovely Wanderers for the help! :)


	3. Chapter 3

_Sirius glanced out towards the hallway, before quietly closing the door. He picked up the remote control and pressed the power button. Once the screen was on, he typed in the channel number._

_Though his parents were arguing downstairs, his father could still return at any moment. Sirius was slightly scared at the idea that his father would catch him, but he needed to catch a glimpse._

_Even though Sirius had never seen a full episode of the show — not knowing or understanding the events that he did get to see because of his father's rules about television, he still needed to see his face._

_There it was. 'The Wolf in the Family.' A drama about a boy suffering from Lycanthropy, who was trying to fit into normal society, whilst attempting to hide his condition. Sirius tapped his foot impatiently as he waited to see Remus Lupin. He didn't move his gaze from the screen and was so distracted, he didn't realise that the shouting from downstairs had ceased._

_Two girls on the screen were talking, and Sirius sighed. Time was limited, and he needed just to see Remus' face and soft eyes, before he snuck back out of the room._

_His face popped up on the screen, causing Sirius to smile at the beautiful sight. The scene seemed to be set right after a transformation, and Remus looked the very part of a boy who had just suffered through the pain of his body breaking and shifting._

_Sirius didn't hear his father walking up the hall but couldn't miss the sound of the door being thrown open, hitting the wall._

_Sirius stood frozen, locking eyes with his father. Orion Black looked at the screen, his lips thinning as they pressed together. "What have I told you about these television shows?" he asked, his voice hard. "That television isn't there for entertainment. Sometimes, I believe you want to get into trouble."_

_"I'm sorry, Sir," Sirius murmured, anticipating the blow. He tried not to show how scared he was at being caught, but he had gotten a glimpse of Remus and it was worth it. For some reason, seeing Remus Lupin gave him a strength and confidence he never thought he would have._

...oOo...

Remus smiled at the four men around him. "Hi, it's nice to meet you all. Should we get down to introductions?"

A man with blond hair nodded. "We should sit down. Come." He led the way to the sitting area. Remus moved quickly to take the soft-looking armchair, eager to find out if it would be a great chair to sit and read on, whilst the others took their places on the love-seat, the sofa and the other armchair.

"Well, I just wanted to say, welcome to the house. I'm Remus Lupin, as —"

Remus jumped at the sound of a door shutting. He spun around, spotting a man with a suitcase and a wide grin, looking around.

He frowned for a moment, wondering if he had misheard the numbers. Surely there were only meant to be four men in the house with him, not five?

The frown quickly left. It wasn't this man's fault that there was a mix-up. He stood up from his chair, a smile on his lips as he walked over to the stranger who had notice him and frozen at the sight of him.

"Hello," Remus began, extending his hand to the stranger. "I'm Remus. I must admit, you're quite unexpected. Not to worry, there's more than enough rooms. Come and sit down, we were just about to start introductions."

The man took his hand, shaking it. "It's nice to meet you," he said softly, slight awe in his voice. "I'll put my stuff here now, shall I?"

Remus nodded his head, wondering who the man in the hat and sunglasses was. He noticed the amp and wondered if he was a musician. He took the amp, setting it against the wall as the man removed a guitar from his back. The pair headed over to the seats.

There was a brief moment where, as the stranger looked around, the others looked back suspiciously. Even though there were two additional spaces, the pair on the sofa didn't straighten to allow the man the extra seat there, and the love-seat was taken by a big man, who took up most of it already.

"Why don't you take the armchair, and —"

"I'm good," he said, pulling off the glasses as he dropped down onto the floor facing the armchair, his back against the coffee table. "You take the chair. You looked comfortable in it when I came in."

"Thank you," Remus murmured after a moment of hesitation, not wanting the man to sit on the floor. He wouldn't push it for now, but he wouldn't let him sit down there for long either. "So, I was just about to introduce myself."

His eyes widened at the distraction as the man removed the oversized sunglasses, folding the and dropping them onto his lap. It was hard not to be distracted by his beauty. Remus blinked a couple of times before dragging his gaze away. "So, I'm sure you all know who I am, either by me being on television, by my work with LGBTQ+, or by your managers when told about this show." He gave a shy smile at each man watching him. "I've agreed to do this show for many reasons," he continued. "The main reason being that the public want to see more into my personal life. But that's not why I chose to do it: that's just why my Manager agreed to this. I'm doing this because of all the work I've been doing to promote attention to gay-rights and helping teens that lives are difficult because of their sexuality. But to be honest, I thought it would be nice to get to know others without my manager setting things up."

The large man on the love-seat smiled when Remus glanced over at him, stretching out his long legs.

"My name is Kingsley Shacklebolt." The deep voice resounded around the room. "I'm a professional dancer and most recently was in 'Dancing With the Stars'.

"And you all may know me from my picture. I'm Gilderoy Lockhart," the man on the sofa said before Remus could reply to Kingsley. Gilderoy's teeth almost sparkling as he looked around the room proudly. "I'm a writer of mostly self-help books, though you may have all read my autobiography?"

The man next to him let out a snort, which Lockhart didn't seem to notice, too stuck inside of his own ego.

"Well, I've been on television since I was a child," the man drawled. "I've more recently done some modelling: mostly hair-modelling of course." He reached for his perfect blond hair. "After this, I'll be auditioning for a part in the next season of Sherlock. I'm Lucius Malfoy."

"Barty Crouch Junior," the fourth man said softly, looking around at everyone, before fixing his gaze on Remus. "You may not know me, unless you're an avid Theatre goer. My last performance was Fiyero in Wicked up in the West-End. I've had a few TV moments, but nothing big, I'd admit. Though, there was a small part on Doctor Who."

"And our mysterious guest?" Remus asked, his gaze dropping to the man in front of him, getting lost in the grey eyes. "You do look familiar. I'm sorry, it's a bit of an overwhelming day. On a different day, I'm sure I'd be able to place you. Maybe without the hat, I'd know?"

"That's fine," the man replied, a bright smile on his face. "I forgot I was wearing it actually." He reached up and grabbed the hat, pulling it off his head and quickly patting the bun on the back of his head.

"SIrius Black. I'm a musician."

Remus didn't even need to hear the name. The second the hat came off, he knew exactly who Sirius was and was annoyed himself that he hadn't seen it sooner. He had seen Sirius in the paper a couple of times, and thought him extremely attractive, but hadn't thought anything more.

After all, Sirius hadn't been out at the time. In fact, there was nothing at all about Sirius being gay.

"More like a rock-God," Kingsley said, sitting forward. "Sirius Black! My niece is going to ask me all about you when I get home."

"She's a fan?" Sirius asked, turning his full attention to Kingsley.

Kingsley nodded. "She's fifteen and wants to be a singer too. She has posters of you all over her wall, and all of your music. She couldn't get tickets to your concert unfortunately, but next time. You're her inspiration!"

Sirius grinned. "What's her name?"

"Keira," Kingsley replied fondly.

Sirius looked around, his eyes falling on the closest camera. "Hey Keira Darling," he said, waving at the screen. "I've heard you're a big fan of mine, and if you're here when I'm out, let's have a picture together!" He winked at the camera as he blew a kiss.

"You've just made me a very popular uncle." Kingsley laughed.

"Well, I don't want to be one of those people who don't care about their fans," Sirius stated, smiling lazily at Kingsley. "I was fifteen when I realised I wanted to be a musician too, so I get it. If my idol at the time knew my name..."

"Did you have hundreds of posters up too?" Kingsley asked, amused.

The smile fell. "We weren't allowed to put anything up on our walls," he admitted. "The only decent music I was able to hear was when I was looking around music shops."

"So how did you learn to play an instrument?"

"I'm sorry, but how are you even here, Black?" Lucius Malfoy said, interrupting the conversation. Sirius' lip curled at the sound of his voice and he turned, glaring at the man.

"Same reason you are," Sirius said. "I'm here because of Remus Lupin."

"But you're not even gay! _I_ like to keep track of who is hot in the gay world," Gilderoy added.

"I'm not out… well, I am now," Sirius said, looking back towards Remus. "Felt like a good time, you know?"

"Ah, when it's the best for your image?" Gilderoy offered.

"No, image or popularity is not what I hope to gain from this," Sirius said with a snort. "There's another reason I'm here." Remus could only stare. He could see the heat in the gaze. He couldn't help but hope that Sirius was there for him.

"So, Remus, I just wanted to say that I loved you in The Wolf in the Family. I heard about this show and couldn't help myself in coming on here," Sirius said, trying to change the subject.

"Wait, will this add another week to the show?" Gilderoy asked. "Will we be paid extra for the additional week?"

Kingsley was the one to snort. "Why? Do you really think you'll be here to the end? I mean, it's clear that you care more about what you're getting paid."

Sirius laughed, high-fiving Kingsley at the statement.

"It's not that. I will be starting to promote my newest book once I leave here."

"Well, that should be it for introductions. I do recognise all names," Remus said, sensing the group getting restless and hoping their first meeting wouldn't be marred by an argument. His eyes fell on Sirius again. "And I look forward to getting to know you." They snapped away quickly. "I know that the producers will be leaving us a message this afternoon at four, so we could meet back here at that time, before having dinner? Would you like to go and choose your rooms?"

"That sounds like a plan," Kingsley stated. He was the first to rise from his seat. Remus followed.

"It's been good to meet you, Remus. I look forward to spending more time with you!"

The others made similar statements before heading to the stairs, leaving just Sirius and Remus behind. Kingsley looked between them as he hovered at the bottom of the stairs, before smiling and heading up himself.

"You're not going to go and get a good room?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrows.

Sirius just shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me how big or small my room is," he admitted. "I'm not going to run to fight for the biggest room. I'll take what's left. I mean, I only found out today about being here, so there might not even be a room for me. I'd be happy on the sofa, as long as I'm here and able to get to know you."

"There will be," Remus assured him, feeling butterflies in his stomach at Sirius' words. "I've looked around already." He lowered his voice. "I left all the doors open. I must admit I'm curious as to who is taking the large room that was supposed to be mine."

"My money's on Malfoy," Sirius murmured.

"There's five rooms on the first floor, and two in the attic," Remus stated with a smile. "They're all lovely rooms."

"Well, I'll get my stuff up there," Sirius said, fishing for something to say. "But I'm glad to be here." He held out his hand again and Remus reached for it, thinking he wanted to shake it.

Instead, Sirius pulled it to his lips, bowed slightly as he placed a soft kiss to Remus' hand. He winked and walked off to grab his stuff, leaving Remus watching him with wide eyes.

Remus couldn't help the gaze that fell on Sirius' arse as he walked away, blushing when Sirius looked over his shoulder, caught him looking, and winked, before grabbing his belongings.

"Sirius?"

The man stopped, turning to look at Remus.

"I look forward to getting to know you too."

There was something Remus couldn't place in Sirius' eyes at those words. Sirius' smile widened before he turned to the stairs.

Remus knew he should get to know the others, but if he had to choose at that moment, he knew he'd choose Sirius Black.

...oOo...

He shook the thought away. First impressions were important, but they were all in a house of strangers. He would give each man a fair chance, even Lockhart, who appeared to be here just because of the publicity. Maybe deep down, the man was wonderful and Remus could potentially miss out if he was to rule anyone out so quickly.

With that decided, he walked slowly up the stairs to his room. He wondered who had the largest room as he climbed the stairs to the attic.

He glanced at the door facing his own, doing a double take at the sight of Sirius Black leaning over the bed, carefully taking the guitar out of the cover, as though it was his most treasured possession. The guitar was old and had clearly seen better days, but it was well taken care of, and shined as much as a brand new guitar.

"So, you've found the attic?"

Sirius jumped and spun around. "Well, I noticed everyone taking the rooms downstairs and thought that if I were playing my guitar, it'd be better to do it where I'm not disturbing anyone." He took in the way Remus' hand gripped the handle of the facing room. "But I can keep the noise down. I'll try not disturb you."

"Well, as long as you're not playing when I'm asleep," Remus replied. "Perhaps one day I could listen to you play?"

Sirius smiled and nodded. "I'll show you one of the songs I've been writing."

...oOo...

The time sped by, and one by one, the men returned to the living room.

Remus turned the television on and waited. It wasn't long until the screen popped up, and Alice McLaggon came into sight.

"Hi guys," she began, waving enthusiastically. "Hi Remus Darling!"

"Alice, you didn't tell me you were doing this," Remus scolded, though his face lit up at the sight of his friend.

"Surprise. Now, as you know, there is no contact with the outside world, except through this TV where I'll show you anything that we may deem as important… or funny. You can get family messages on here and I'll be here to give you little… assignments. There is no prize, except enjoyment. Okay… so, there are some prizes. The first one will be takeaway food from the place of your choice!"

Remus nodded. "So, do we get the first one today?"

"Always so eager, my little wolf! So… we've had the introductions already, which makes for good viewing, and things are going well for the first day. Also, you're living with some delicious men. I'm so jealous! Now, we've got good footage for the show tonight, but I'll be back in about three hours. Go and have dinner, get to know each other and meet me back here."

She blew a kiss to Remus. "I can't wait! Until later!"

The screen went dark. "Something is going on," Remus muttered. "She's far too happy. I feel like I'm going to be humiliated somehow."

Sirius laughed. "Are all your friends that bubbly?"

"Of course. James and Frank are just as bad," Remus said.

"So… dinner. Who here can cook?"

Kingsley nodded his head. "Should we make a rota for chores and cooking?"

"Wait, we have to do our own chores?" Gilderoy asked, frowning.

"I wasn't told this," Lucius sniffed.

Remus managed not to roll his eyes. "Well, you'll have to contribute somehow," he said. "Kingsley, do you mind doing the cooking today and I'll wash up, and we can sit down after we talk to Alice, or in the morning, and make a rota?"

"Sounds like a plan," Barty replied. "There are six of us. So we could perhaps have two people on chores each day?"

"Does that work for everyone?" Kingsley asked. The men all nodded, though Gilderoy and Lucius were reluctant to do so.

"Now, any allergies that I should know about?" Kingsley stood up and looked around the room. Nothing was offered so he headed to the kitchen to cook dinner.

"I've got a script to look over," Barty stated, also standing up. "I'll see you all at dinner."

Gilderoy looked around. "It's a shame that I haven't been chosen to cook today," he said. "I've written my own cookbook; I'm just waiting for it to be published, of course. Now, I don't like to brag, but I've been told that I'm a master chef. The meals I'm the best at making are —"

"I think I'll head outside for a fag," Sirius muttered, standing up and patting his pocket. "Anyone want one?"

"You're actually not allowed to smoke or drink whilst here," Remus murmured.

"Shhh," Sirius whispered. "Freedom awaits us."

"Oh… in that case, I'd love a cigarette."

The pair left the room, leaving Gilderoy Lockhart telling a bored Lucius Malfoy about the best way to make a lasagne.

From what Sirius could make out, the man had never cooked a meal in his life.

* * *

Thanks to my lovely Wanderers for the help! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to the Wanderers for coming up with the tweets featured in this chapter. I have to admit that I struggled with how to write them in without affecting the flow.

I've struggled with that part of the chapter for too long now with two choices. Have them being read out or have the group reading them. In the end, it fit better having them be read out.

The only way to make that part of the chapter flow better would be to take the tweets out, but I have to admit I love them too much to take them out.

**This won't allow me to use the AT sign, so I've bolded the text that should have an AT sign. Hopefully it's clear enough. Sorry about that guys!**

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Remus carefully watched each of the men sitting around the table as they ate their dinner, trying to remember all he knew about them. His eyes found Kingsley first. Kingsley was a well known dancer, having been on television as well as in the theatre. Judging by the way Kingsley and Barty had fallen into conversation, Remus guessed that they had met before. Remus wondered if they had performed together on stage at any point.

As though he knew he was being watched, Kingsley turned his head away from Barty, meeting Remus' gaze. He smiled warmly and Remus couldn't help but return the smile before Kingsley turned his attention back to Barty.

Remus noticed that Barty leaned slightly closer when getting Kingsley's attention and wondered why that was.

As he wandered about it, he twirled a bit of pasta onto his fork, bringing it to his mouth. He savoured the flavour of the food. It wasn't that often he had someone to cook for him: only his mum when he went to visit, or his nan. Remus himself was not the best cook, but Kingsley was as good at cooking as he was at dancing.

He gaze shifted from Kingsley to Barty as he thought about what he knew of the man. Barty's father was a member of Parliament and Remus knew he was a candidate in the next election. Remus was aware that Barty hadn't been out for that long and got the impression from when he met Barty and his father at a party that his father was the type of father that took pride in his image. Barty Senior was the type of man that would want his son to hide his sexuality at all costs, in case it reflected negatively on him.

But Barty was out. Remus wondered if Barty Senior was using that to his advantage by getting his son to appear on this show. After all, apart from a few polite words, Barty didn't seem to be showing any interest in Remus. So maybe he was there on his father's request?

Or perhaps he was shy?

Lucius Malfoy was next, sitting at the other end of the table—the head seat—and frowning down at the food. Remus saw nothing wrong with the meal, but the simplicity of spaghetti bolognaise was clearly an issue with Lucius.

Remus couldn't fault the dish, and due to timing that day and not having a schedule, he thought that Kingsley did an amazing job. He wondered if Lucius' cooking would be any better. He doubted it.

He tried to think of how much publicity Lucius was used to and if he minded sharing it with all of the others.

Remus had seen Lucius' picture in magazines before but hadn't paid as much attention. Yes, the man had amazing hair and was attractive, but he didn't know much else about him. He watched Lucius for a few more moments, wondering about him, before Gilderoy Lockhart cleared his throat loudly, looking around him.

"Not a bad dinner," Lockhart began. "Though it's a shame I wasn't put on food duty myself. I could have stopped the dish having that strange aftertaste _and_ would have managed to put some garlic bread on. I can make my own as long as the kitchen is stocked, that is. I could give you some lessons sometime?"

Kingsley continued his conversation as though Lockhart hadn't spoken, turning slightly so that his body was completely facing Barty. Remus caught a few words about a composer before tuning out, not wanting to listen in on others conversation. Instead, he turned his full focus to Lockhart.

It was clear the man was there for publicity and nothing else. He had no interest in any of the causes that Remus hoped to help with his appearance on the show or in actually dating Remus himself, which was a shame. Remus _had_ hoped that there would be four eligible men to choose from… well, with the surprise arrival of Sirius Black, there were still four eligible men.

But even if Gilderoy Lockhart had been attentive to Remus, Remus couldn't see himself going out with the man after the show. He had read some of Lockheart's self-help books in the past to see what the fuss was about and seen a few of his hundreds of interviews. The man was vain and self-centred, and his books were terrible.

Remus doubted Lockhart was as good at everything as he made out. The stories were awful and a child could have written better. Remus couldn't understand how a man like that could ever get published. He had given up trying when Lockhart published his last book.

_'What it takes to be gay!'_ A book that was filled from front to back with stereotypes. Remus had felt offended reading it, and he hoped his time in the house could be used to discuss the book with Lockhart and educate him to how wrong he was.

Though Gilderoy struck him as the sort of person who wouldn't listen and would act like he knew better. Perhaps there would be no helping or educating someone like him.

Remus turned his attention to the last man at the table: the man he had been trying to avoid looking at for as long as possible. He already knew that he could get lost in Sirius Black without knowing much about the man.

After all, he hadn't even known Sirius was gay until he walked into the house and removed his hat and glasses. Sirius Black was well known for not doing interviews and avoiding his name being in the papers for anything other than his musical talents. There were a few small pieces about his interactions with fans which showed that he valued the people who listened to his music, but the man himself was a mystery.

Remus loved mysteries though, and he couldn't wait to find out just why Sirius Black had decided that coming into the house was the way to tell people his sexual orientation. He wanted to know whether Sirius thought this through, or if this was Sirius doing what he was doing: letting the public see a more personal side of him.

Maybe Sirius was just bored and wanted to shake things up a bit?

Remus smiled as Sirius looked up from his food and met his gaze. The smile was returned, and Remus itched to reach up and run his thumb over the corner of Sirius' soft looking lips to wipe the speck of sauce that was there. Probably there.

Fine. The sauce that he could pretend was on his face, just so he could touch him. Remus' fingers twitched at the thought of running his fingers beside Sirius' mouth, feeling the soft skin. He swallowed nervously, turning his gaze quickly away, certain that his cheeks were reddening at the idea. Remus wasn't sure what was happening. Sure, he had been attracted to men in the past, but this was crazy.

Remus knew he couldn't wait to get to know more about Sirius Black.

...oOo...

Remus made quick work of the washing up, wanting to have a few minutes alone with his thoughts. He knew it wasn't fair for him to make an immediate choice on who he wanted at the end of the show and firmly decided that he'd give everyone a fair chance, even Gilderoy Lockhart. Even if the man was there for publicity, he could be a nice guy and they could get along really well.

He lingered on his task until there was a knock on the door-frame. He turned around, spotting Barty standing in the doorway. "Five minutes," Barty said with a shy smile.

"Thank you," Remus replied, glancing back at the sink. "Only one plate left so I'll be right in."

Barty nodded and disappeared, and Remus quickly wiped the plate clean before putting it to dry. He had always found washing up a good time to think. It was a task he didn't really have to think about what he was doing which was one of the reasons why he didn't own a dishwasher.

When Remus headed back in, he found the others in the same seating positions as usual, but with Sirius laying back across the comfortable looking rug, his eyes closed as he mouthed something. His eyes flew open as Remus sat down on the chair, and he turned his head, smiling.

"I hope we're not too hungry later," Remus said, breaking the silence of the room. "We did eat quite early."

"I didn't get to eat lunch today, so I'm glad about the early dinner. Plus, there are snacks. I noticed some chocolate in the cupboard too." He gave Remus a knowing smile. "I'd say about a month's worth... or maybe a week if you get your hands on it."

Remus couldn't help but grin as he dropped down into the comfortable armchair. "It's time?"

"It is," Lucius drawled from the sofa. "Does anyone know any of the details of this show? Was anyone given all of the information?"

Remus shook his head. "I wasn't told much," he replied. "I knew I was going to meet four men and one would have to leave each week, but nothing more. I didn't even know who else was coming in."

"I was told who would be in the house," Lucius replied. "Though Black was an unpleasant surprise."

Sirius' smile fell and he turned to Lucius with narrowed eyes. "Where you're just unpleasant," he stated. His smile wasn't as wide as he turned back to Remus. "I didn't know I was going to be on the show until this morning actually. It was good timing, I've just finished a tour and was just working on some new songs that had come to mind. I can do those things here."

The screen lit up, drawing attention from the conversation. Sirius sat up from the floor and Remus turned, his attention on the enthusiastic woman on the screen.

"Remus, we're live on the air now! How are you? How is it going?"

"It's going great," Remus replied, smiling around the room before turning his attention back to Alice. "I felt slightly overwhelmed at first, I must admit, but it's a nice atmosphere and I'm looking forward to taking the time to get to know everyone in here."

"Has anyone caught your eye yet?"

Remus blushed slightly. "I'm going to give everyone here a chance before I make any plans," he said, avoiding the question. He could tell by the way her eyes narrowed that she wasn't fooled by his evasive answer.

He made sure not to look towards Sirius Black. Maybe the public wouldn't realise, but Alice would know. He was scared of what she'd do if she found out that he was attracted to the rockstar. Determined not to look at Sirius, he didn't notice how Sirius straightened up at his comment, looking more determined than ever.

"How are you finding your first afternoon in the house?" Alice asked instead.

Remus smiled shyly. "I must admit it's very overwhelming to be here, but I'm sure I'll have a wonderful time. I've never properly met anyone here before today, so I'm excited to get to know all of the contestants."

Alice nodded. "Well, the first part of the show is up, and now we're live. I have to tell you: the show is extremely popular. We're already trending online. I think you might break the Internet."

"Trending online?" Lockhart asked with interest.

Remus resisted rolling his eyes. Of course Lockhart would care more about publicity than anything. Had the show gotten low ratings, Remus was certain that Lockhart would just cause drama and walk out to get his name in the papers that way.

"Do you want to hear some of the messages?"

"I'm sure they'll be quite entertaining," Barty replied with a grin.

Alice smiled evilly. "Well, the hashtag that we chose ourselves is _#CelebDates_. We've had it in the bottom corner of the screen throughout the whole show..." She lifted a sheet of paper up, turning her attention to the words.

_'Is anyone watching Celebrity dates? The surprise guest looks like Sirius Black. It can't be, can it?'_

"So, there's a lot of people confused by your appearance, Sirius. Do you have any comments?" Alice asked.

Sirius flashed her a smile. "I'm not quite certain what I can say at this point about it. I'm on a television show competing in the hopes to win Remus Lupin's heart. I think that speaks for itself. I do have very high hopes for winning this."

Remus' eyes widened as he looked at Sirius, who was staring unblinkingly at the screen. Remus hoped Sirius would turn his head; he wanted to see how much truth was behind the words, but Sirius didn't move to look at him. After a moment, Remus looked back at Alice.

Alice was staring at Sirius with wide eyes. "Sirius Black," she finally said. "You are completely adorable! I just want to grab you and run away with you... Oh, I mean… I'm sure you're breaking some hearts out there, but there's a lot of people praising you for coming out! There's not many in the rock-world that admit to their sexuality."

Sirius shrugged his shoulders. "It was the right time," he said. Remus wondered what made that day and show the right time but didn't voice his questions. If Sirius wanted to elaborate, he would have done so already.

_"'How nice is Remus Lupin, offering his chair! He's so adorable. #CelebDates.'"_

Remus blushed at the words. "Anyone would have done the sa—"

"Actually, you were the only one who offered," Alice said, interrupting him. "So, not everyone would have done the same. You could have shared, Remus. You could have sat on his lap or had Sirius sit on yours!"

Sirius looked at Remus with a wide grin. "You know, your lap does look pretty comfortable," he murmured. "All those layers of knitwear make for a comfortable seat. I'll remember that for next time."

_"'Yay Remus gay Sirius happy happy game show luv #OTP #CelebDates'"_

"What is an OTP?" Remus asked curiously.

"One true pairing. It basically means the writer wants you together," Alice explained. She glanced back at the paper. "Now, here's someone I can relate to!" She cleared her throat.

_"'Too many beautiful men. Time for a cold shower! #CelebDates'"_

She fanned herself with the paper. "You're all so beautiful," she said. "If I wasn't with Frank…"

"We'd still be dating other men," Remus finished for her, smiling in amusement.

_"'I wish Barty would Crouch in front of Remus... #CelebDates.'"_

Remus turned quickly at the sound of Kingsley's booming laughter. "Just brilliant," the man said, turning to look at Barty.

Barty snorted. "I've heard that one before," he admitted.

"These are great," Alice murmured. "And there are just going to be so many more that we've missed. We only looked through a few." She grinned widely. _"'Did you see those looks between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin? Squishes them together NOW KISS! #Blupin #CelebDates.'"_

"We have a ship name, I love that," Sirius said. He opened his mouth to continue, but Alice reading the next one cut him off.

_"'Remus wears the best cardigans. Where does he shop? #fashion #CelebDates.'"_

"Oh? People like these?" Remus asked, looking confused. "Wherever sells knitwear. This cardigan is from Burtons. The jumper underneath is from Primark. Wait, am I allowed to say the shop names on the show?"

"It's fine. You're not being paid to advertise them, and it's not product placement," Alice confirmed. "Lucius Malfoy, we have some hair envy." She glanced back at the paper.

_"'Wishes she had hair like Lucius Malfoy. #tooprettytobereal #CelebDates.'"_

He smirked, his fingers reaching to his hair.

_"'OMG **at**LuciusMalfoy #HairEnvy is trending #CelebDates.'"_

_"'Mmmmm Lucius is one luscious piece of man. #HairEnvy #CelebDates'"_

The smirk grew at the comments and Alice laughed. "Oh, I hadn't read this far down the list before," she admitted. _"'**at**DancingKingsley #CelebDates — any chance #hairenvy phenomenon is directed at you?'"_

Kingsley chuckled at the comment, his fingers resting on his bald head. "Who wouldn't be envious?" he asked. "Not many men can pull this look off."

_"'**at**BlackStar - #HairEnvy is for Sirius and Sirius alone. How could Lucius' locks ever compete? #CelebDates._" Alice giggled. "Lucius, how do you feel about Sirius stealing your crown? Oh - that look is enough... and speaking of crowns..."

_'Kingsley, let Remus be your queen!' #CelebDates_

Before anyone could answer, Alice's face lit up. "Remus. This one is the best messages I've ever seen. It was posted to our facebook page rather than twitter, but... it's wonderful."

"What is it?" Remus asked, suspiciously.

_"#CelebDates Did I do this hashtag thing correctly? Remus, Darling, you have too many attractive men there. I anticipated this, so I slipped a giant box of protection into the pocket of your suitcase yesterday when I came to visit. You can't be too careful, Sweetheart. I also set My Little Ponies to record for you. I noticed how much you liked that show the other day when I was cooking Sunday Lunch."_

"There you have it, viewers," Alice said. "Remus Lupin watches My Little Ponies!"

Remus covered his face with his hands. "That was from my nan," he muttered. "I was not watching My Little Ponies. I just couldn't find the remote to turn the television over!"

"The last message on the paper is: _"'Will Gildroy put a lock on Remus' heart? #truelove'"_

Remus was tempted to shake his head but resisted, choosing to hide behind his hands in mortification.

"Thanks, Alice," Sirius said, looking delighted at the messages. "Watchers, as much as I like Blupin, I think you can all do better. I'll give a prize to the person who comes up with the best ship name for me and Remus!"

Alice's expression matched Sirius'. "I have a few ideas," she admitted. "Well, I need to get back to presenting the show. I'll talk to you again tomorrow morning after breakfast, and I'll have my favourite new tweet."

After everyone said their goodbyes, the television went blank and Lucius stood up.

"I assume we'll be getting more information on the show tomorrow, so for now, I will retire to—"

"Let's make the schedule up before you retire anywhere," Barty suggested. "Can someone get some paper?"

Sirius headed to his room, returning a minute later with a pen and paper. "So, is there any task that people despise? I hate washing up but don't mind cooking."

"Really?" Remus asked. "I can't cook to save my life. I don't mind cleaning up afterwards though."

Kingsley pulled the pad over and picked the pen up. "That works. You two can be team one. I'll team up with..." he glanced longingly at Barty for a moment before sighing. "Lockhart. That leaves Barty and Lucius Malfoy as team three."

"How are we going to do this?" Sirius asked, glancing at the paper.

"We separate the jobs into three groups. Each team has a group of chores that day. Each day, different teams are assigned."

"Sounds good."

"Sirius and Remus, you're on dinner tomorrow," Kingsley said. "Plus washing, cleaning up the kitchen... I'll make some lists out and show you all tomorrow morning."

"Who is on breakfast?" Lockhart asked.

"Barty and Lucius," Kingsley replied. "We're doing lunch."

...oOo...

The six all pitched in to tidy up before everyone went their seperate ways that night, and Sirius watched Kingsley and Barty chat, sitting a little bit closer than he would consider friendly. He couldn't help but smile. If the pair had found each other that meant they wouldn't be after Remus, which meant that he only had two men to compete with.

Gilderoy Lockhart and Lucius Malfoy.

Despite what Remus said about equal chances, Sirius didn't consider Lockhart competition. Remus was a smart guy, and he'd be able to see that Lockhart only cared about his own image and whether this show was going to help him sell his next book… or he was probably going to write a book about this show and sell that.

No, his only competition was Lucius Malfoy, and Sirius knew he had to work even harder than he had first considered. He knew Lucius too well. He wouldn't let Lucius win.

Even if Sirius himself didn't win Remus' heart, he wouldn't let Lucius get it because he didn't want the cold man to break it like he did with Sirius'.

"There's space on the other sofa now," Remus said softly.

Sirius turned his head, realising he had been staring. "Huh?"

Remus followed his gaze before shooting him a curious look.

"No, I'm not staring at them because I'm interested. I'm actually wondering… is something going on there?"

"Why would you wonder that?" Remus asked. Sirius was certain he saw a flicker of relief on Remus' face and couldn't help the cocky grin when he pushed himself off the floor and onto his knees.

"Because that gives me more chance to win your heart," he murmured.

"My heart or the show?"

"Remus, I don't even know what this show is about. I heard you were on it and signed whatever I was told to sign. I'm here only for you."

Remus smiled shyly. "So you came out… because of me? Why?"

"I couldn't win your heart if everyone thought I was straight, could I?" Sirius replied, shuffling closer to the chair. He rested his hands on Remus' knee and his chin on his hands. He looked up at Remus through long eyelashes. "Consider my appearance and my coming out as a show of how serious I am about this."

Remus was speechless, and Sirius decided to give him time to think. He stood up from the floor and leaned closer to Remus. "Goodnight," he whispered, before turning and heading towards the stairs.

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Review Please :)


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